I am months behind in posting my dreams, and reading this one again, more than seven months later, I can see so many things in it now that make sense, and have actually come to pass. At the time, Sean, flowofmysoul and I were at the very beginning of our dream sharing explorations; we had only just met. Since then, we have been joined by a handful of other dreamers.
Maria’s Dream – January 30, 2013
I don’t remember the transition to being in a much larger, spacious, but indistinct white house. A man is going to drive me somewhere, but I’m not quite ready to leave. I climb a long broad flight of white steps to a landing dominated by a great window, which is both tall and wide. Outside there is the beginning of what looks like a blizzard, a strong wind blowing tiny flakes of snow at a sharp angle in my direction. The atmosphere is a soft dark-blue. I can see a good ways down across what appears to be the spacious grounds of the house, and a street beyond. I’m not really sure the innumerable tiny white particles are actually snow. I am sure, however, they will decrease visibility, so it doesn’t seem like a good time to get in a car. I would rather just go back to the hotel where I remember I’m staying. Then I become confused wondering where in this house I put my red make-up bag…
… I climb another great flight of white steps and become semi-lucid as I sit down at the top of the staircase, preparing to make a phone call. I pull out my cell phone, intending to call Mami, but in this large white space—the limits of which are not visible so it’s like being both inside and outside—I see other people I can sense are aware of me. I think about how they might find it strange to see a woman sitting on the floor of what feels like a very grand hotel. So I stand up, intent on making my phone call, but not looking forward to it, because in the dream space it’s usually a time-consuming struggle to dial the right numbers in the correct order.
I see several small rectangular tables made of black boards, around which one or two dark-clad figures are seated. Spotting an unoccupied table, I walk over to it and sit down. I am sensually aware of my body and of what I’m wearing—a long black dress with long sleeves and a full skirt. I’m also sporting heavy jewelry. Against my chest, I distinctly feel the weight of a large diamond necklace with multiple gem-encrusted strands. Around my left wrist, there is some sort of double jade-green bracelet with trailing ends. I’m pleasantly aware of looking fabulous as I bend my head to concentrate on the task of reaching someone with my phone. I feel very confident and centered, and quite aware of the fact that this heightens my visibility and attractive powers. Two men at a nearby table are watching me, and even though I don’t look up, I’m aware of them, and of one in particular. Soon they get up and walk past me, which surprises me a little, because I was sure the one I had my eye on was interested in talking to me. Then I look up and see his grinning friend pulling him back over toward me, obliging him to extend his right hand, in which he is holding a small paper cup filled with water. When the cup of water is directly over me, I cry, “What are you doing?!” because it looks as though they’re going to spill it over me. The threat passes and, as we all look at each other, I say, “That was pretty funny, actually.”
I remain seated as they stand there talking to me. I’m focused primarily on one of them. I feel a little guilty about letting him flirt with me, about leading him, on because I don’t live in this State so there’s no possible future for us. They begin singing, entertaining me with their exuberant, fun-loving attitudes. They switch to a Hip-Hop tune, and one of them strikes a sexy pose, unbuttoning the top of his shirt and then, holding my eyes as I smile up at him, flipping open the top button of his khaki pants, exposing more of his lean muscular belly. I’m enjoying this!
Then abruptly we’re inside what I can only describe as the dark front compartment of a train stretching indefinitely behind us. An empty, perhaps cobbled street, dimly lit with a faint golden light here and there, surrounds this interior space. I sense a few people seated close behind me in the darkness, observing me. The young man I had been flirting with is seated before me, and slightly to my left. I am the center of attention. This part of the dream is impossible for me to clearly remember and describe. It goes on for some time, and I know I am in full control. I gesture and communicate very deliberately. I move with an instinctive yet profound control and deliberation. I am like spider at the center of her web responding to the information transmitted to me on its mysteriously living threads, except I am helping the persons caught and drawn to me by them. I am absolutely aware of my central position and of my every motion, motivated by a wordless, unfathomably profound knowledge. Looking over my right shoulder, I notice a young blonde woman standing just outside the “car” watching the proceedings with an intense longing. I invite her, or command her, to join us, not with words; telepathically. She immediately embraces my young man, desiring to take him with her, but he doesn’t want to leave, and suddenly the young woman is sitting before me. Aware of the effect it will have on all those watching, I raise her shirt and caress her nipples, then lean over to kiss her quickly and firmly on the lips. Again that feeling of being in purposeful command of my every movement, filled with what I can only refer to as “instructive energy.”
Then abruptly I end the “scene.” With a quick wave of my arm and a snap of my fingers, the dark compartment, and the dark street outside, vanish as we separate into distinct individuals moving around a large bed in a brightly lit hotel room, all of us heading for the door. I’m totally aware of my body, of my long black dress and long, heavy black hair, and of the fact that my appearance is a kind of glamor I have cast over myself, so the people I have been interacting with tonight will see me as I wish them to. Glimpsing my reflection in a mirror as I walk by it, I grasp some of my dark hair and lift it off my head, feeling its lush weight as I spot some red highlights, a subtle clue this is a temporary creation (sort of the way brassy red highlights in waking reality sometimes indicate a hair color is not natural but the result of hair dye.) It’s as though I am both the magical Fairy Godmother and Cinderella, aware the spell I’ve cast will soon wear off, and I will go back to looking my actual age, drained of youth’s much more potent physical powers of attraction, which I needed to harness tonight for a special purpose—the mysterious meeting in the dark “train car.”
We all walk quickly and happily down a broad white corridor located in what feels like a huge spaceport. I often see this shade of white in dreams, luminous and pure as fresh snow without being in any way cold. It is like no place I have ever been on earth. I’m feeling very pleased with what just happened, and with the group of people I’m surrounded by. We are all heading purposefully to an “elevator” of sorts. Full of playful energy, I rise onto my tiptoes and do a few swift pirouettes, my toes barely touching the floor. I alternate between spinning in place and leaping forward like a ballerina, at once obeying and defying gravity, which of course is much lighter here. I think about Robert Waggoner and how much he would enjoy such a joyful display in the dream space. I then become breathtakingly aware of music filling the entire space, a really loud and beautiful piano concerto. As I turn right, toward a row of “elevators,” I declare, “I HAVE to get this CD again!” identifying the composer as Rachmaninoff, whose Piano Concerto No 2 I listened to a lot when I was a teenager. The pounding glorious music surrounding me is totally energizing. I cross over into the large empty elevator, and when I turn to look back, one of my friends is making the leap to follow me. But just then the massive white structures begin separating, and he falls into the bottomless space between them. I ask another friend, “What happened to him?!” and he assures me the other person is fine, he simply landed on the level just below ours. That makes sense, people must slip through the cracks all the time, since the two structures rhythmically come together and move apart, like a beating heart. I phase out of the dream.
I remember that when I was trying to find you and Sean, I saw a train that was coming toward me. Later, I tried to find you both again, and again I saw a train, only this time I was on it. I tried once more to find you, and again I saw a train. Nothing more, just a train…
I also saw a woman dressed in a black leather suit. She appeared to me out of nowhere about six times. I was having other dreams, and she just showed up in the middle of the dream, appearing for a second or two. She also appeared when I saw the train. She came to me in every dream I had.
In one dream I was visiting all kinds of places around the earth, and then I got really thirsty. I came to an apartment… There was an old lady there. I knew her in my dream, however, I do not know her in real life. She did not look like you at all. She said that I could take some water from a huge cooking pan that was full of water. She gave me a glass, and I used that glass to take some water from the pot. I drank the full glass of water, but when I looked down into the glass, it was full of worms. I felt awful; suddenly I felt like they were moving in my mouth. I asked her why she did that, but she was smiling at me. I tried to find some clean water to rinse my mouth, but there was no other water in the house… I teleported somewhere in the middle of the ocean, dove under the water, and took a mouthful of salty water just to rinse all those worms away.
I find your dreams really similar to mine, the way you behave, the way your thoughts go. It’s hard to explain, but I feel like our dreaming minds work in a similar way.
It’s interesting you saw a man holding a cup of water. I’m not sure if those two men were me and Sean, because though in my dream I was also holding cup of water, it was a different scenario. However, I think we are often dreaming on multiple levels at once, so maybe I could have interpreted this my way, and somewhere else I could have behaved like the man you described in your dream.
I most liked the moment where you described yourself as spider in a net, you had control of everything, like you were connected to everything. I know that feeling very well, I experience that very often. I cannot call it a strong dream control, it is more like you are receiving more power and extending your mind around you, extending it further and feeling everything around you. Instead of using basic senses like seeing and hearing, you feel it all with your mind, and you have full control of it, you know what will happen next, what to do to change the scene in the exact way you are thinking of.
The dream begins with a nocturnal scene I perceived as falling snow, not being fully lucid, otherwise I may have recognized it as what some of us call “Void Space”, the snow flakes the equivalent of quantum particles of potentiality, the quantum “dream stuff” as one physicist has called it. I couldn’t remember where I left my red makeup bag—my physical body, made up of bloody material substances. Happily, I didn’t go looking for it, which may have resulted in me waking up. There is another reference to my corporeal vehicle in my concern about driving during a snow storm. In my dreams, a car often, if not always, represents my physical body.
I often describe where I am in the dream space as a “hotel” because that’s what it feels like – a place where I’m only staying for the night, for a temporary amount of time, before returning home, in this case, waking reality. Hotels are also associated with vacations, which dreams (especially semi-lucid and lucid ones) certainly are, vacations from the constraints of physical laws where we can have some serious fun. And perhaps because in dreams we’re able to “work” on ourselves, and potentially heal physical, emotional, mental and spiritual issues, is why the hotel can also feel like a hospital.
Experience has taught me the more conscious I am of my dream body, of my presence and appearance, the more lucid I am, even if I don’t have that “aha, I’m dreaming” moment. In this dream I was actually conscious of, or experienced the mysterious equivalent of, the passage of time. “Normal” dreams can very often feel like being a passenger on a wild-water rafting trip, buffeted from one dream scenario to another, with no effectual control. This dream, like almost all my semi-lucid and lucid dreams, was the opposite of that. And I was intent on communicating, on calling someone. I’ve observed that whenever I try calling my mother while I’m sleeping, I end up having a powerful dream. This makes me wonder if in these instances my Mami represents the Mother. I dearly love and greatly admire my mother, so it stands to reason that in my dreams she often embodies the feminine principle in its highest evolution, the power of love and receptivity. A phone call made in a dream clearly indicates a desire to communicate, and perhaps also to being receptive to a communication, a sign that a dream share can occur, or is already, occurring.
What especially struck me, while reading this dream again after all these months, was the pleasurably significant sensation and weight of the jewels I was wearing. Traditionally, jewels symbolize hidden treasures of knowledge and wisdom. In Jainism, the Triple Jewel is right belief, right knowledge and right conduct. These qualities are vital to the success of any venture, and in this case I believe the jewels relate to to the project Sean, flowofmysoul and I were just embarking on—the exploration of dream sharing, each of us bringing to the endeavor what we had learned as lucid dreamers. Diamonds specifically symbolize light, life, durability, incorruptibility, invincible constancy and sincerity. These are qualities of the inner self, of the soul, which is the part of us that dream shares, and dreams can be described as the light in our sleeping minds. The qualities of the diamonds I was wearing can also be used to describe how I feel about dream sharing, how determined I am to continue exploring it, and to sincerely record and share our results. My bracelet was made of jade: “’All that is supremely excellent’, the yang power of the heavens.” I was very conscious of my appearance, and my jewelry intensified and enhanced my attractive powers, making me more visible to the two men in the hotel, the dream space—Sean and flowofmysoul. My mind translated all this into a feeling of looking really good, but while out of body, beauty is necessarily a soul quality. In dreams, our souls are visible to other souls, to which we may be drawn as inexorably as in the waking world we are drawn to attractive and magnetic individuals.
I read somewhere once that being offered a cup of clear water in a dream indicates the beginning of a wonderful friendship. In my dream, one of the young men was urging the other young man to give me a glass of water. I feel it was Sean encouraging flowofmysoul, to whom he had recently introduced me, not to hesitate in befriending me, and joining us in our dream sharing experiments. Flowofmysoul was offered a cup of water in his dream as well, and perhaps because he is a young man in his twenties, and he knows I am in my early fifties, he perceived me as an old woman in his dream. The fact that in his dream the water in the cup morphed into worms, combined with his reticence in my dream, seems to indicate a part of him had some doubts about our collaboration. I feel I may have picked up on his perception of me as an old woman in his dream when I felt a little guilty about letting him flirt with me, about leading him on, “because I don’t live in this State so there’s no possible future for us.” In my dream, I appeared as I looked approximately twenty years ago, and the state I don’t live in is the dream state. But of course, since our relationship unfolds exclusively in emails and the dream space, physical appearances are irrelevant. And yet it seems he also saw me much as I experienced myself in the dream, as an attractive woman dressed all in black who kept appearing to him, insisting on getting his attention.
From Dream Sight by Michael Lennox: “Singing: Passionate expression that is so great it demands more energy than just speaking… When words are not enough, it becomes the next heightened form of communication… the basic principle here is the power and passion of the expression. If someone is singing in your dream, the message that is being communicated is very important… Singing before an audience may connect to a need to rally inner resources behind some common desired aim or goal.” The two young men sang to me. Together, Sean, flowofmysoul and I are literally rallying our inner resources toward the common desired aim of exploring dream sharing. And having fun with it!
I now believe the gathering in the train car was my soul meeting with other souls in the dream space to “discuss” a mutual destination-desire: the fascinating journey that is the exploration of dream sharing. According to the Penguin Dictionary of Symbols: “Students and analysts of dreams would categorize the train, as successor to serpents and monsters, as an evolutionary symbol… In dreams, the rail network is a forceful image of the impersonal cosmic principle, imposing its unchanging law and pattern upon such separate and fragmentary portions of the psyche as the ego and its complexes. Communal interests take precedence over individual interests. The (train) network also stands for the forces of bonding and co-ordination working at the heart of the psyche. Trains seen in dreams are signs of our psychic development and indications that we have become self-aware and are moving toward a new life.” Certainly this is true, because the spiritual ramifications of dream sharing are potentially transformative to the dreamers and therefore eventually will help transform our society and the world.
I now have a very good idea who the blonde woman looking in our secret meeting was—Tilly, the fourth person to join our group soon after she and I apparently connected in the dream space a month earlier, during one of Rory MacSweeney’s Mutual Dream Experiment nights.
All of us left our meeting in the train by way of a bedroom, which of course is where we sleep and dream. As for the beautiful loud piano music I heard as we all walked happily through the dream spacestation, I quote the 6th century Roman and Christian philosopher Boethius: “The cosmos is a magnificent concerto.”