The Butterfly Effect

I became lucid a couple of times, outside my rec room at night, and when I entered the house was much larger, different… At one point, I found myself sitting in a dark bedroom with Tilly. She was on my left. To my right, I noticed a really big yellow-and-black butterfly perched on some golden, maybe flower-print, curtains. The butterfly seemed to generate its own light, it was beautiful, and I said, “Tilly, look at that butterfly! Look! Look!” I sensed it would soon make its way outside, and I really wanted her to see it, but she mumbled something about having had enough of butterflies for the time being. I then left the room, and asked my husband if he had seen my friend, Tilly. When he asked, “Who?” I said, “The blonde woman in the next room! She’s here… or at least she was here, until I woke up.” (The night was riddled with confusing false awakenings. ) Later, two men were sitting on either side of a curtained portal talking. They seemed concerned about two beings that might materialize and challenge them. I walked up to them and said, “Don’t be silly. If they do try and attack you, the angels will banish them.” Yet the angels were, I sensed, actually the two beings whose arrival they were anticipating.

In the room of the big house I’m staying in, there are yellow-beige flower print curtains. Enough of butterflies? Never! But I have had so many butterfly experiences here. The most beautiful was after our beloved dog B. died two weeks ago. He was a member of this family home (I am house sitting here as part of my job) and I really felt like there was no resolve for him; everyone moving on too fast to bury the feelings of loss. I was with the home owner, my client, whom I only have a very professional relationship with. There was a butterfly caught in a web.  She rescued it, and then together we untangled the spider’s web from it’s delicate wings. As this was happening, there was already a warm fuzzy feeling in my tummy that this was a special, intimate experience between us. Then as the butterfly became free, it landed on my hand and we admired it together for some time. After it flew away, it briefly touched the home owner’s hair (she ducked) and we watched it fly off into the sky! I cannot help but feel we had a connection, and I felt somehow that we watched B. fly off in a metaphorical way. And here’s the good bit. I was lying on the bed in that room last week, by the window where those curtains are, and a butterfly flew briefly in the window, fluttered around a bit, then flew back out. Then today walking the dogs, I am surrounded by butterflies in a moment! And it felt so lovely! Then the butterflies left, and suddenly we were surrounded by dozens of dragonflies too. Very unusual to have so many all in one spot. I felt so at peace, even after no sleep and a disappointing and frustrating night.  I was a little on edge, as this house is large and frightening at times. The only time I drifted into slumber (the dog I’m caring for kept me up most of the night) I had this odd OBE experience where I went around the house, and shut all the windows that where open in my dream state. There was a man who wanted to come inside. I felt some degree of hostility and madness from him, but no immediate threat. He drove off in a truck over the grounds of the house, and I hoped he would not be back as I could not shut the front door securely.

I didn’t have any lucid dreams last night– that I can recall– but I did have a dream a couple nights ago that’s worth mentioning. I was in a truck in a parking lot with a man. We were making preparations to meet with some others in a very large house, but we would have to avoid people who would come after us there. Almost as soon as we entered the house, we were spotted, so we split up and ran. The meeting-place was on the 10th floor, so I kept climbing staircases as I found them, while keeping ahead of the pursuers. The house was really enormous, and somehow the vast interior spaces I passed through seemed familiar to me. Eventually, I stopped. I’d lost count of how many floors I had climbed, but knew I had gone way too high. My pursuers couldn’t follow me up here, but for some reason I couldn’t go back down, either. It was rather dark in the area I was in now, and I remember there being a boarded-off section of a large room, closed to access. A woman I didn’t recognize was standing by it. While I was there, I decided to help her, so I pulled a large lever that was nearby, starting some process for her. The feeling I got in the dream was that what I did was to trigger the first step in a chain of events that would eventually make its way around to the woman and help her in some way. Another name for that is — the butterfly effect!

I actually had a brief experience with a butterfly just yesterday. As I was looking out my window into the woods, a big black and yellow butterfly bumped the window, then flew off again. It’s the first one like that I’ve seen this year.

Angela said she was going to 10th floor with some man. My apartment number is 1015, so I live on the 10th floor. Not much, but at least something.

“Another name for that is– the butterfly effect!”
When I went to bed last night, I thought of the very same thing. And this also sheds light (much like the light shed by Maria’s butterfly) on the nature of sharing consciousness with each other, and all things, awake and in dreams. And the butterfly is such a beautiful archetype and symbol. I wrote a short story some years ago called In The Blink of An Eye, the eye lashes blinking like the wings of a butterfly. It was set in a local neighbourhood where the small miracles in life, not usually witnessed, where told in the story using a butterfly to thread together the subtle chain of events that, on witnessing, remind us we are all connected to each other and everything. A play on the butterfly effect.

Seems we are banishing hostility with process creating levers, angels and butterflies? Ah, very lovely sharing!

The depth of the interconnections, and the in-your-face synchronicities, are awe inspiring. It seems, Tilly, that we are living your story. When I woke, I had no doubt I had connected with you in my dream, so I am not surprised by any of this. Christ said, “You shall see greater things than these.” My dream butterfly gave off its own light. I sensed, Tilly, that it reminded you of something painful, so what you said about the dog B. and the butterfly caught in a web helps explain that. The dream space making connections we can’t miss, weaving a magical web. The room we were sitting in, on the edge of a bed, beside that curtained window, was dark, almost murky. This might relate to my low level of lucidity, the atmosphere of the large creepy house you were sleeping in, and also represent how much more light we have yet to shed on the mysterious depths of dreaming and dream sharing. Butterflies are beautiful but fragile, like our connections in the dream space, but each experience sheds more light on what we’re doing, on what is happening. I understand now why that butterfly shone with its own light.

And Angela, that butterfly that matched the one from my dream bumping your window is a reminder of how we are always dreaming, awake and asleep. The delicate nature of a butterfly definitely seems a reminder that connections in dreams can be subtle, profoundly so, and that we need to embrace this truth, rather than focus too fixedly on the ultimate prize of full blown mutual lucid dreams where everything and everyone connects, which is rather like trying to catch the butterflies of our souls in a big net with one fell swoop! In many cultures, butterflies symbolize the soul and are considered spiritual messengers, angels in disguise. A lovely sharing, indeed!

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