January 28, 2014
FlowofmySoul’s Lucid Dream:
It started in emptiness, I thought of going back to that field and meeting you. As soon as I appeared there I thought that this time I want to look for your dreams instead of creating mine. The same moment I appeared on a break of some hill, it was pretty dark there, I was not sure what kind of ground is under me, it was brownish color, I was not sure whether it is rock or soil. It seemed to be pretty high, on the fringe of that hill there was some kind of a river, but a very strange river, it was red color to me, I thought it is just an illusion, I payed more attention to what color is that river and it was still red/orange, I thought that it might be lava. I was not sure whether it is lava river or water river, because it looked and acted like water but color was similar to lava.
Maria’s Lucid Dream:
…I’m now soaring high up in that strange reddish-black atmosphere. I briefly look at my hands and consider the fact that I have no healing intent to perform on myself. Then without even thinking about it, I say out loud, “FoMS…” but it’s like trying to speak underwater; I can barely get the syllables out. So instead I try whispering, which works well. “FoMS, I’m in the dream space,” I say, imagining that I’m whispering directly into his ear wherever he is as I repeat, “FoMS, I’m in the dream space.”… I look away and suddenly see my doggie sitting in the sky to my left, except the reddish-brown atmosphere is more solid here, like a really high platform or riverbank. The dark reddish-brown void is like no lucid environment I have ever experienced.
What happened next was not very clear to me and a bit confusing. I thought of your name, I remembered my mail conversations with you and tried to recall if I got the name right, I was pretty sure the name was exactly the same as I saw it in email “Maria Isabel Pita”. It was dark around, I was in some kind of emptiness I saw a woman, I thought its you, I came closer and she looked like you… The moment I saw you closer several things happened at once, you came really close to me, like face to face, I had an impression that you are about to kiss me. The same moment I do not know why but I thought of Sean, where is Sean? what is he doing? why he is not here? Or maybe he is here, somewhere around?
Maybe I slip back into other dreams but at one point I become aware of sitting in the leather chair in my study facing the small round black table in the corner where I usually stack books I’m reading. Instead of books there is a man’s head sitting on it. I’m holding a fragment of white paper in my hand intending to call someplace where I can get help with something. Looking at the head, with its light-colored hair and pale complexion (in hindsight, it resembled Sean) I think I must be seeing a man who works at the place I’m trying to reach. It then occurs to me that since he is here I don’t have to call the place where he is. I tell him something to the effect of, “I’m going to speak directly to you.” This is when I become fully aware of the man’s head, which is now closer and has changed, become absolutely present. I clearly see his features and large dark eyes as they look up and meet mine. I realize with a haunting thrill that I’m still dreaming, of course. I see the man’s face clearly, pale skin, short black hair, and those dark, absolutely sentient eyes. The moment they met mine was so intense, the mysterious shock of another awareness touching mine.
My dream with you took a romantic turn over and I dismissed you from my dream because I thought of the age difference, the next moment I saw another woman, she was young, around my age. It repeated several times, I could not understand if it is still you in another appearance or it is another woman, I came to you and left you several times. In the end I thought I am with the young woman and the dream continued, we kissed and so on… at the same time I was thinking what happened to you? might it be you? where is Sean? It all happened at the same time, so it was confusing to me, because I could not understand either it was one dream or few separate dreams.
The head begins speaking to me. I listen and watch him in absolute fascination because I’ve never experienced anything like this in a lucid dream. He speaks rapidly and, I realize, keeps switching from one language to another. First it sounds like Russian, then it sounds like French, and when I hear “Gustav Flaubert” my impression is confirmed: he’s quoting examples from the literature of all these different nationalities. And I get the feeling there is something romantic about the quotes. I tell him, “Your face changes every second” as I can’t take my eyes off what looks like a super-accelerated computer morphing software at work as his features, even the shape of his skull, of his cheeks, the texture of his skin, etc. all shift and yet also flow together at the same time so that I see the countenances of countless different men, young and old, all addressing me as a single man, as one magically talking head! I’m not really afraid, but I have been pushing my chair back away from it a little, not quite knowing what to make of this uncanny phenomena. “You’re just a head,” I protest, staring at it where it sits on my black table, then suddenly it is gone, replaced by a rectangular and colorfully illustrated cover of some sort. It looks like a video cover for a romantic film. I’m slightly relieved but mainly disappointed. “And now you’re you’re just a cover,” I say, and wake, wondering what the heck just happened.
In my dream I had no dreaming body, It was just me trying to find what you were dreaming. I was looking for You, Sean and Illy together, but I found you only. I did not focus at my body at all, all I was trying to do is see what is your dream world, how does it look to you and how do you imagine your dream sharing location. Maybe that is the reason why you saw my head only, I was not walking, was not doing any physical movements, I just observed your world and communicated with you. As you said, it was more of a communication then a kiss, when we kissed It did not feel like an action, it felt like communication, but a weird communication, because I was not sure what is happening there.
I find it very interesting that starting from our first attempts to share a dream we already have this much of similarities in our dreams. We both had red/brown colors of environment, we saw each other morphing to different appearance.
In such dreams I usually do not focus on my looks, I feel like an energy formation, like my soul is traveling instead of my physical body. That was where my nickname came from, flow of my soul. But when I have other types of Lucid Dreams, I often care how I look, I look in the mirror and it is sometimes the same me and sometimes a different me, sometimes I am somebody absolutely different, I even saw my self as female once. So It makes sense to me that you saw my head only, because I did not use anything else there. Just watching, talking and hearing.
Yea, the eye contact was very intense! I did not expect to see you only, I was going to find you as a group, You, Sean and Illy. The same way you described your dream of the 26th, I was trying to find where are you located together, but I had more attention on you, mainly because I was trying to recall the exact spelling of your name. A few days ago I was looking for you and instead of Maria Isabel Pita I found somebody named “Maria Del Rita”. That night I knew the spelling was wrong. I tried to find the correct one, but I kept finding “Maria Del Rita”. In that dream I even went to my living room and used my PC to search who is “Maria Del Rita”. Also I was trying to use my computer to find the correct spelling, but I kept seeing “Maria Del Rita”. And on Monday night when I managed to spell it correctly “Maria Isabel Pita”, the moment I said that, you got all my attention and I saw you only instead of Sean, Illy and You together.
So now in all my lucid dreams, I never limit my self to how we are in real life. I never limit my knowledge of anything, if it is science I am pretty sure that I know why and where and what happens. I do not pay attention to one language, I just pay attention to communication, I often find myself speaking in other languages in my dreams. Also in every single dream I always find my self using quotes of all famous people. I wake up and I search those quotes, sometimes they are real, sometimes not, sometimes I cannot understand what I said because it was a language I do not know. In my dreams I am shapeless, formless, I am everything that I need to be. I feel like being a solid object limits me a lot; in other words, having fixed and limited knowledge limits us from being who we are.
Now you understand how surprised I was when you wrote that you saw him as a computer morphing software that was always morphing and changing, talking in different languages, using different literature and quotes from different people. I am still shocked.
I think it was me there. I never knew that my appearance is dynamic and always morphs, that is something really new.